Plucked

Today I plucked a stone from my heart. 

I held it in my hand and examined it as a casual observer would.  It was shiny and sharp; obsidian condensed.  Obviously igneous in origin ( formed at some point in my volcanic past),  it felt heavy in my hand.  Looking at it and feeling its dense burden, I  understood why it had held a prized spot on my internal shelf for so long. 

Then I set it down gently to the side of my path. 
The gentleness surprised me.  I have long thought that when this moment came, I would fling this old hurt far away or pulverize it to dust.  But today, today I found I had lost the associated fervor and animosity and so 
I set it gently down.

 Peace and confidence rushed in to fill the void left from my plucking and I found myself standing in the gym with a huge and goofy smile on my face.


Forgiveness. A profound and en"lightening" everyday miracle. 




 

You gotta laugh

I was working with a new student yesterday and we (the assembled adults) were trying to  figure out how to get him out of his wheelchair.  In case you have never had the experience, each wheelchair is unique in its lever and its belts and whozawhatisits and thingadings.  I was working on a lever, trying to find the ever so secret button to release it, when my eyes met the student's eyes and he started giggling. And then we all started giggling.

Then giggling turned to laughing and laughing turned into more laughing.

I can't even imagine what was going through his head. I know I would have been thinking:
"These are the people in charge??"
"Why does the short one keep talking? She should be concentrating on the chair!"
Etc.
Etc.

My heart was filled in that moment of laughter and I was so grateful, so very grateful to that student for sharing that moment with us and for his simple, yet wise reminder that sometimes in life, many times actually,
you just gotta laugh.

Grace and kindness in an awkward situation-this kid truly is a miracle.   Luckie me, I get to see him everyday.

Summer

  I was at the convenience store yesterday and overheard the following conversation.

Child to mom, " I am so glad you make us wait until the last day of school for our first slurpee."
Mom to child, " Slurpees are the start of summer. What kind are you getting?"
Child to mom," I think I want blue because before I had a Coke one and it was good, but it wasn't blue and I like when my teeth to turn blue and then Dad knows when he sees my blue teeth that it is really summer and blue is like the pool and the beach and a Coke one is just brown and... but I know I like the Coke one but I think blue, yes blue.  I am going to get blue."
Mom to child, " Blue it is."
Child to Mom, " What kind are you getting?"
Mom to child, " Blue of course, I don't want you to be the only one with the cool blue teeth!"
Child to Mom,as he took her hand, " It is going to be so great!"


I was on my way to get my usual unsweetened ice tea,
but I had to circle back
and get a blue slushee.

The kid was right. It tasted like summer! 

(my blue teeth weren't a huge hit in my graduate class, but I could tell, they were just jealous.)


The ability to celebrate the everyday- what a great gift for a mom to give to her child.
The ability to celebrate the everyday- that is my wish for you on this Tuesday morning.

really really real love

I was thinking today that I  have officially lived more of my life with my hubby than without.  It is kind of a strange feeling being so connected to one person for so long. He has seen me at my best and Lord knows he has seen me at  my worst and I have been witness to his extremes too.  Yet most of our lives together have been those every day, in-between times when extreme seems a funny and foreign word.

My sweet William is the best person I have ever met.  I am still thankful and oft times incredulous that he picked me to be his wife.  He is honest and hard working and handsome and loyal and kind. He is a wonderful father, son, brother, and friend.  He calms me and soothes my soul.  I still get butterflies when he kisses me.  Oh, the list could go on....

But.

I wanted to share this one extra special thing.
(the everyday miracle found in the long-term, slogging out a life together thing)
he knows me;
really really real knows me. i really really real know him too.

And.

He is on the red-eye. Coming home.

really really real love. 
luckie me.

I was walking down 44...

A friend of mine was recently lost in the woods; really a bit lost for at least a few hours.  She was alone in a place that was beautiful, but foreign to her, and once she realized she was lost, I am sure the scenery was the last thing on her mind.  She got discombobulated ( for lack of a better word-  really, is there a better word in the world than discombobulated? ) when all the trails looked the same. 

But, no worries my friends, this story has a happy ending!

SHE FOUND HER WAY HOME!

We were very relieved that she was safe and sound, but that is not why I tell this story.

Of course, there are everyday miracles already embedded in the trial above, but there is a deeper miracle to be discovered. Keep reading.

Did she cry about her long afternoon?  Did she complain?
Nope.

She chose to sing about her crazy day.  She chose to laugh and move on. She chose to not let the past few hours ruin the future few hours.  Aah, the everyday miracle of choice...

Walking down 44

(sing these lines to any really twangy country song that pops in your head and FYI Reeders is an amazing country bar in the middle of nowhere)


While I was walking down 44,
I knocked on just about every door,
I hollered and walked and hollered some more,
My heart was tired and my feet were sore.

 Then I saw with sheer delight,
The sign with the antlers and specials of Bud Light,
It gave me strength, it gave me might
it was
Reeders in the distance. 

(chorus)
Reeders, Reeders,
Where lost friends are found,
Reeders, Reeders,
I'm so glad you are around. 

A big reframe with an extra little twist- lovely!

Kate in the morning

My kids are all grown up.
I love the ages they are now- bursting with enthusiasm and possibility, able to live their own lives, able to have a glass of wine with dinner and discuss politics and other adult things.
But, sometimes, I miss their younger days when we had them all to ourselves to snuggle with and play with and read to and do the million other little things that families do every day.

Today I was cleaning out a stack of old papers and found a poem I wrote about my daughter Kate many years ago.  I was struck with a memory so profound and wonderful that I had to share.

Katie in the Morning
Hardly contained in her little girl shell,
Words and feelings 
         pop out of every pore-
                   making her feet grow
                   making her face change.

(she is all opinions and beauty.  she is her father's biggest worry.)

But, 
In my eyes she will always be
Katie in the morning
Looking for a hug and 
   eating cereal-
All birdsnests and brown eyes.

And here is the everyday miracle, the heart remembers.  It remembers and smiles, long after life has moved on.

Taste the Purple

I love lilacs. When I see them, purple and fragrant, hanging in great gobs of lovely, they make my heart beat.  They bring sweet smiles to my face.  They remind me to breathe deeply.

I passed many lilacs today and had to stop and pull over at one particularly beautiful bunch.  I pulled off to the side of the road, snuck up to a lilac bush and stuck my head all the way in.  I was so far in the flowers I could taste the purple at the back of my throat and nose.  Lilac purple is sweet and overwhelming (but in a good way).

I did some thinking with my head in those flowers- clear thinking without the mish mash of other obligations and distractions. I like to think of it as "lilac thinking" and it was very profound as it tends to be.

I thought,
Even in all my imperfections, I still try.
Even in all the heartache in this world, I still love and am amazed at the love given to me.
Even in the middle of this neighborhood, there is such beauty.

I smiled and inhaled the purple and remembered that it is all a gift.

Then I smiled and giggled and got back in my car and hoped the lilac owner didn't mind me sharing the bounty of the spring that happened to be on his lawn.

Deep purple happiness- an everyday (April and May) miracle!