A gathering up

I had a conversation with a young woman earlier this week. 

It was a long journey from where she started to the stoop on which we both sat to talk.  She has seen things and experienced things that people shouldn't have to see or experience, ever.  She has lost people and her place in the world.  All of this I knew and had grieved before we spoke. 

 In her quiet voice, with large tears dropping onto the step below, she shared her dream with me and also her fear that it may not come true. It wasn't a grandiose dream; nothing extreme or flashy for her.  


She wants her education.

She wants her education!!


My heart broke for her lost opportunities as we sat still on the stoop, both looking down. I put my arm on her shoulders to comfort her but I could not speak.

 And then I felt it, her spirit gathering up inside of her; putting her back together, drying her cheeks, and propping up her resolve. I felt that gathering so strongly that I expected to look over and see her angel self putting her physical self back together.

"Miss Michelle, I had the honor roll when I was young."

"Of course you did because you are smart," I said.

Viktor Frankl, author of the book Man's Search for Meaning, wrote, " “Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”

Luckie me, I was in the presence of a great and dedicated chooser.  She will get her education.

I see you.

One day, a long time ago, I was significantly struggling. 
 I was trying hard to get through.  I avoided all eyes,  forced every smile, and swallowed the ugly cry that kept trying to creep up my throat.  I thought I was doing pretty well at the Big Fake.
And then.
A person, not a stranger, but almost a stranger, came up to me, looked me right in the eye and said,

i see you.
you aren't alone.

Then she patted my hand and walked away.
It meant the whole world to me that day.

Today I paid it forward and I witnessed the power of simply bearing witness.
I didn't fix anything.                   (i see you)
Nothing essential was changed.                    (you aren't alone)
But in that honest moment, there was a space for hope.

Thank you lady of long ago for sharing your blessing with me. Your name is lost in some errant file of my brain but your gift remains.

Everyday miracles in six words and some space. Lovely.

Plucked

Today I plucked a stone from my heart. 

I held it in my hand and examined it as a casual observer would.  It was shiny and sharp; obsidian condensed.  Obviously igneous in origin ( formed at some point in my volcanic past),  it felt heavy in my hand.  Looking at it and feeling its dense burden, I  understood why it had held a prized spot on my internal shelf for so long. 

Then I set it down gently to the side of my path. 
The gentleness surprised me.  I have long thought that when this moment came, I would fling this old hurt far away or pulverize it to dust.  But today, today I found I had lost the associated fervor and animosity and so 
I set it gently down.

 Peace and confidence rushed in to fill the void left from my plucking and I found myself standing in the gym with a huge and goofy smile on my face.


Forgiveness. A profound and en"lightening" everyday miracle. 




 

You gotta laugh

I was working with a new student yesterday and we (the assembled adults) were trying to  figure out how to get him out of his wheelchair.  In case you have never had the experience, each wheelchair is unique in its lever and its belts and whozawhatisits and thingadings.  I was working on a lever, trying to find the ever so secret button to release it, when my eyes met the student's eyes and he started giggling. And then we all started giggling.

Then giggling turned to laughing and laughing turned into more laughing.

I can't even imagine what was going through his head. I know I would have been thinking:
"These are the people in charge??"
"Why does the short one keep talking? She should be concentrating on the chair!"
Etc.
Etc.

My heart was filled in that moment of laughter and I was so grateful, so very grateful to that student for sharing that moment with us and for his simple, yet wise reminder that sometimes in life, many times actually,
you just gotta laugh.

Grace and kindness in an awkward situation-this kid truly is a miracle.   Luckie me, I get to see him everyday.

Summer

  I was at the convenience store yesterday and overheard the following conversation.

Child to mom, " I am so glad you make us wait until the last day of school for our first slurpee."
Mom to child, " Slurpees are the start of summer. What kind are you getting?"
Child to mom," I think I want blue because before I had a Coke one and it was good, but it wasn't blue and I like when my teeth to turn blue and then Dad knows when he sees my blue teeth that it is really summer and blue is like the pool and the beach and a Coke one is just brown and... but I know I like the Coke one but I think blue, yes blue.  I am going to get blue."
Mom to child, " Blue it is."
Child to Mom, " What kind are you getting?"
Mom to child, " Blue of course, I don't want you to be the only one with the cool blue teeth!"
Child to Mom,as he took her hand, " It is going to be so great!"


I was on my way to get my usual unsweetened ice tea,
but I had to circle back
and get a blue slushee.

The kid was right. It tasted like summer! 

(my blue teeth weren't a huge hit in my graduate class, but I could tell, they were just jealous.)


The ability to celebrate the everyday- what a great gift for a mom to give to her child.
The ability to celebrate the everyday- that is my wish for you on this Tuesday morning.

really really real love

I was thinking today that I  have officially lived more of my life with my hubby than without.  It is kind of a strange feeling being so connected to one person for so long. He has seen me at my best and Lord knows he has seen me at  my worst and I have been witness to his extremes too.  Yet most of our lives together have been those every day, in-between times when extreme seems a funny and foreign word.

My sweet William is the best person I have ever met.  I am still thankful and oft times incredulous that he picked me to be his wife.  He is honest and hard working and handsome and loyal and kind. He is a wonderful father, son, brother, and friend.  He calms me and soothes my soul.  I still get butterflies when he kisses me.  Oh, the list could go on....

But.

I wanted to share this one extra special thing.
(the everyday miracle found in the long-term, slogging out a life together thing)
he knows me;
really really real knows me. i really really real know him too.

And.

He is on the red-eye. Coming home.

really really real love. 
luckie me.

I was walking down 44...

A friend of mine was recently lost in the woods; really a bit lost for at least a few hours.  She was alone in a place that was beautiful, but foreign to her, and once she realized she was lost, I am sure the scenery was the last thing on her mind.  She got discombobulated ( for lack of a better word-  really, is there a better word in the world than discombobulated? ) when all the trails looked the same. 

But, no worries my friends, this story has a happy ending!

SHE FOUND HER WAY HOME!

We were very relieved that she was safe and sound, but that is not why I tell this story.

Of course, there are everyday miracles already embedded in the trial above, but there is a deeper miracle to be discovered. Keep reading.

Did she cry about her long afternoon?  Did she complain?
Nope.

She chose to sing about her crazy day.  She chose to laugh and move on. She chose to not let the past few hours ruin the future few hours.  Aah, the everyday miracle of choice...

Walking down 44

(sing these lines to any really twangy country song that pops in your head and FYI Reeders is an amazing country bar in the middle of nowhere)


While I was walking down 44,
I knocked on just about every door,
I hollered and walked and hollered some more,
My heart was tired and my feet were sore.

 Then I saw with sheer delight,
The sign with the antlers and specials of Bud Light,
It gave me strength, it gave me might
it was
Reeders in the distance. 

(chorus)
Reeders, Reeders,
Where lost friends are found,
Reeders, Reeders,
I'm so glad you are around. 

A big reframe with an extra little twist- lovely!