The Naming

I looked across the table at the student as she chewed her hair and made a politically savvy joke to her mother.  I looked down and quickly rescanned the report in front of me. I had read it more than once and highlighted the important parts. I poised my pen to take notes and then I looked at her again.
I was all business. So was she.

And so we started.  That little dance of question and answer.
Do you like school? yes and no
What's your favorite subject?  it varies
What do you like to do for fun? torture my mom (ha ha, right mom?  that is now my hobby.)

On and on I went and she went right along.  She answered and asked and parried and laughed.  Her mom sat beside her wringing her hands.  Then we got to the coup de grace; the question of all questions.....

How would you describe yourself? well, i am not sure how to describe me but my grandmother once told me that i am a "quirky little duck."

 She smiled enthusiastically, defiantly. She knew she was not the highlighted parts of that report.
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Those words have been floating around my head for some time now.  They struck a chord.  Good Lord, they have become part of my vernacular.
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I know we all do our best good when we see each other with kind eyes.  I know we all live our best lives when we put aside the junk and engage.  But it is hard to resist the lure of the label and the busy-ness of organizing our little sphere of influence.
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These were my thoughts of the last few weeks.  But here was my thought in that moment:

i wonder if she thinks i am this name tag in pumps or does she see that i am just an older larger quirky little duck?


Luckie me to always find the people in my life to teach me what I need to remember. 
 

Self-care

 A teacher of mine posted the following this week:

you can take some time for you and the earth will absorb the weight of your body, the breath will cleanse you in whole, and your mind will create space only for bliss....may we all be so fortunate. [and good news, we are!]

 I read it last night as I lay on the couch feeling a bit overwhelmed and even perhaps a little defeated.  (These feelings always feel odd to me as they are not my normal cape of determination.)

So, being a good student and also wanting to regain my typical world view, I did as she instructed.

I laid down on the floor and let the earth absorb my weight.
I breathed deeply and concentrated on making room in my cluttered mind for bliss.
I laid there for a long time.

And then there was some space.
And then in snuck the bliss......
 
I am very deeply loved and love others deeply.
My energy and mind are strong.
I do work that matters with an amazing group of people dedicated to children and each other.

(Oh, hello well-being.  I am sorry I pushed you out with my mind's nonsense of worry and self-doubt.)

I am so thankful for the lessons that are all around me, pushing me to grow and helping me accept that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful and neither do I.

Ten hours of sleep, a pumpkin latte, and a long walk later, my cape has been restored to its rightful position.

Self-care, an everyday opportunity and blessing.

(Thank you teacher!)

ATV Love

What an amazing day!  Had to write a country song.  Sing it to any old country tune. Guaranteed to make you smile.


ATV Love

My baby knows I ain't no ride behind girl-
I want my own machine.
I like my hills a little steeper,
My puddles a little deeper,
And I got a hankerin' for speed.

When we go out on a date
We start early and stay late
With nothin' but miles to fill our day.
He likes kisses from dusty lips.
He likes the mud up to my hips.
And he always has a winch, just in case.


We raise our solo cups
     to toast the trails and luckie love,
We dream of playgrounds that start and never end.
He is my ATV love
I thank God from up above,
That he's my one and only ATV love.

A love letter to Pine Creek

Dearest,

As I stand on your banks knee deep in mud, I cannot help but write to you with gratitude and wonder. You are pushing winter to the river right before my eyes - the swollen waves and icebergs churning make me think that winter isn't going easily this year. But, you are strong and steadfast in your will. Spring is on your side.

I look to the pines that guide you through the mountains for the eagles that I saw last summer.  They love you too, you know.  Your waters feed their young the sweetest speckled bounty.

I have seen your colors change like the mood ring on a young girl; all at once black, then green, then greener still, then blue and brown.  I often wonder if there is a message there or if it is a whim of yours, a trick to make the time pass.

Man through greed or folly periodically attempts to grab and ruin this lush path you call home.  According to the history, we are bound to repeat our mistakes at least once every fifty years or so. But you keep coming back.  You still welcome the little ones to swim in the shallows and watch the tadpoles. Thank you for your resiliency and your forgiveness.

My sister whispered to me once,"Come see the creek."  I am so glad I followed her.  Now you are an inspiration and a balm when I am troubled.  I miss you when I am away.

When next we meet, you will have come back to your calmer self, reflecting the world with a slightly waved view.  The tiger lillies will be reaching their roots to you, soaking up your essence,  and putting on their orange show.  I can hardly wait.

With love,
Michelle

Geeking Out

So, if you are a closet academic, with spiritual tendencies, a curious heart, and a voracious appetite for pretty words, you may have also binged read a few things by the following authors in the past month:Pema Chodron, Tony Robbins, Viktor Frankel, Malcolm Gladwell, Deepak Chopra, and Ross Greene.

But then again... maybe not-it is an odd list.

To save you from the list or maybe more appropriately to encourage you to indulge in it, I have smushed together all the learning that has forced my brain to develop new synapses and lovely trellises of connections over the past 30 days:

Between stimulus and response there is a space and room for choice.
Your choice may vary dependent on the time/space/circumstances you were born-
as well as your penchant for hard work.
Your choice may also depend on the metaphors you use daily to describe your world.
Your choice should be intentional.
If your choice is unintentional or leads to harm, you simply don't have the skills to choose correctly.(Happy fact- you can learn those skills!)
If you can abide in the uncomfortableness of the choice, you will grow and learn.

Luckie me for having access to all of this amazing work because I was born at the right time in the right circumstances to have the firm belief that "life is an opportunity" that I  don't mind working for even if it makes me uncomfortable sometimes.  ( My daughter, the English teacher, just cringed at that sentence.)

La la.

Just an old fashioned love song

I do a lot of people watching.

This past summer, I watched an elderly couple in a public place having a private moment.  It was truly beautiful.  This poem was written shortly after that.  It has been bouncing around in my mind since and so I am sending it out there so it can hopefully bounce around in your mind too.


His Whisper

The visceral echo of his whisper- a private message just for me.
Oh, that soft reverb of notes on nerves...  the tickle from his unshaven cheek.

I bite my lip and am once again my most exquisite version.
The one before standing in this checkout line.The one before coffee and chores.The one before the grandkids knocked on the bedroom door.



A careful observer of people will see many things.  But when you look with a love song on your mind, you can find a million different arrangements of the same sweet melody.

I cannot believe I just said that.

I shared a heartfelt and very real sentiment this week.  It wasn't exactly the most appropriate time or place for such a sharing. But, out of my mouth it came, like a sneeze you can't control. There it was, spewing out into the otherwise efficient space.

And it sat there. Briefly.  Awkwardly.  I panicked for a moment. ( I cannot believe I just said that.)

But then,
 a kindness was shown.
Another perspective was shared.

A perspective I really needed to hear.
A perspective with great potential to change my perspective.

These weren't the exact words, but the message was clear.

Don't rob others from their journey just because their  journey is hard.  Be supportive, be there, but don't rescue. It cheats the rescuee. It is their journey, not yours.


( But wait, but wait, I think everything is about me!
                                                              Fine. I'll think about it.)

I am so grateful that the universe always provides people to provide lessons-  just say the magic word... help.

Luckie me :)